Love and money: How couples manage their finances in the first year of marriage

Love and money: How couples manage their finances in the first year of marriage

When couples get married, managing money can be a challenge. Who makes the decisions and pays the bills? Should you merge your money or keep it separate? How do you handle debt? To find out how couples navigate these tricky issues and more, in August/September 2024 SoFi surveyed 600 adults who have been married less than one year about how they approach finances in their relationship.

Our findings suggest that most newlyweds communicate early and often about financial issues, are relatively in sync when it comes to saving and spending, and merge at least some of their money. However, they also prize their independence: The majority maintain separate bank accounts, have pre-nuptial or post-nuptual agreements, and some even keep financial secrets from their partner.

Key Findings

Some highlights of SoFi’s 2024 Love and Money survey of recently married couples include:

• 82% keep at least some of their money separate from their spouses.
• 62% have a joint bank account.
• 36% have a pre-nuptial agreement and 21% have a post-nuptial agreement.
• 72% put one partner in charge of day-to-day money management.
• 22% keep financial secrets from their spouse.
• 40% of couples are still paying off wedding debt.

Managing Money: Yours, Mine, or Ours?

Should you merge your money after marriage or keep at least some of it separate? There’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Any set-up can work as long as the lines of communication stay open. Here’s what today’s newlyweds are doing according to SoFi’s survey.

42% Have Both Joint and Individual Bank Accounts

As a practical matter, joint bank accounts can make sense after marriage, since it’s typically easier to manage household expenses with a shared account. Joint accounts also enable financial transparency. But most survey respondents also want to maintain their financial autonomy.

While 20% have merged all their funds into one joint account, nearly 40% maintain only individual accounts. The most popular option (chosen by 42%) is a hybrid approach: having both joint and individual accounts.

How does the hybrid approach work? One option is to have income go directly into the joint account for shared expenses, then set up a monthly transfer into each partner’s personal account. Or, you might have income go into your personal accounts then each make a monthly transfer into the joint account, for household bills and shared expenses. Your contribution can be the same or proportional based on income.

72% Put One Partner in Charge of Everyday Money Management

It may not be romantic, but at some point newlyweds need to determine who is going to keep track of and pay all of the household bills. Some divide and conquer, while others elect one partner to deal with the dollars. Either option can work—the key is to have a system in place so bills don’t fall through the cracks.

Most respondents to SoFi’s survey (72%) have one CFO (chief financial officer) in their marriage, while 28% share money management tasks. More specifically:

57% Have a Prenuptial or Postnuptial Agreement

A growing number of couples are signing legal contracts that spell out how financial assets will be handled in the event of a divorce: Prenups that are signed before marriage, and postnups that are signed after a couple walks down the aisle. SoFi’s recent survey of soon-to-be-married couples found that 14% were considering a prenup. In this survey, a full 36% of respondents said they have a prenuptial agreement, while 21% have a postnuptial contract. Another 6% are considering one of these contracts.

Transparency and Communication

Effective communication and trust are the building blocks of any successful partnership. Fortunately, most couples in our survey talk frequently and honestly about money. That said, some partners are holding key financial information back.

91% Talk With Their Spouse About Money at Least Monthly

In general, communicating about finances is a priority for couples in SoFi’s survey. About a third of couples in our poll talk to their partners about money monthly, while 45% discuss money weekly, and 15% converse about financial topics biweekly.

But Some Subjects May Be Off-Limits: 22% Keep Financial Secrets From Their Spouse

While establishing financial boundaries in a marriage is healthy, hiding or lying about financial issues can lead to money fights and breed mistrust over time. The good news is most couples we polled seem to be on the right track—nearly 80% said they rarely or never keep money secrets from their spouse.

However, there is some cause for concern: Roughly 1 in 4 recently married adults report that they sometimes or often keep money secrets from their significant other.

Spending Money After Marriage

Couples today generally know it’s important to be on the same page when it comes to spending vs. saving and wise to set up a household budget. Still, many partners don’t relish the idea of having their mates micromanage their personal spending.

37% of Partners Spend Without Consulting Their Spouse

There are a number of ways to manage discretionary (aka, fun) spending in a marriage. Some couples let each partner spend however they want, while keeping an eye on the overall budget. Others choose to consult each other on all nonessential purchases (or purchases above a certain price point). A third option is to allot a set amount of money to each partner that they can spend however they like. You agree on the amount, but not how it’s spent.

When asked how they and their spouse handle discretionary spending, SoFi respondents said:

55% Are Very Comfortable With Their Partner’s Spending

Adults often come into marriage with different money mindsets—for example, you might be a saver, while your spouse loves to spend, spend, spend. These attitudes and habits are often formed during childhood based on how our families handled money and how much financial security we had growing up.

How do our couples align? More than half of respondents (55%) are completely comfortable with their partner’s spending habits, and 36% are somewhat comfortable. However, 10% did admit to some reservations about their spouse’s spending: 7% are somewhat uncomfortable with it, and 3% are very uncomfortable.

43% of Newlyweds Wish They Had Spent More on Their Wedding

Weddings are notoriously expensive (averaging around $33,000). So it’s not surprising most respondents took on debt to pay for their big day. What is: A full 43% said they wish that they had spent more on their big day. Around 30% said they would spend less, and 31% would spend the same.

Dealing With Debt

Managing debt often becomes more complicated—and more expensive—with marriage. Many partners enter into a relationship owing money for things like credit cards, student loans, or car payments. Couples may then take on additional debt together, whether it’s to pay for their wedding or buy a car or a home. Here’s how newlyweds are managing their individual and shared debts.

40% Are Still Paying Off Wedding Debt

Approximately 4 in 10 survey participants are in the process of repaying the debt they incurred from their wedding. The good news is that many couples pay it all off within the first year of marriage. Among newlyweds polled:

65% Work as a Team to Pay Off Pre-Existing Debt

When it comes to individual debts, SoFi’s Love and Money survey suggests that newlywed couples are generally upfront with each other about what they owe. Three-quarters of respondents said they told their partner about all their debt before they got married, and 19% partially disclosed their debt details. Only 6% kept mum about their outstanding balances.

Here’s how our poll respondents are handling prior debt:

58% Took Out Loans With Their Partner Before Marriage—and Most Plan to Borrow Even More Money

Nearly 60% of respondents had joint loans with their partners before they tied the knot—namely personal loans (28%), car loans (26%), and mortgages (25%). And 84% are planning to take out more together in the near future.

Planning for a Secure Financial Future

Even though they’ve been married for less than a year, the majority of respondents in SoFi’s Love and Money survey are already looking ahead and working on saving for the future.

65% Have a Shared Emergency Fund

Financial advisors generally advise couples to keep at least six months’ worth of combined living expenses in a separate bank account, like a high-yield savings account, for unexpected costs. Without any kind of cushion, a financial set back (like a major home or car repair or loss of income) could force you to run up expensive debt that could take months, even years, to get out from under.

Newlyweds have largely gotten the message: Over half (65%) have already set up a shared emergency savings fund, while 21% are in the process of creating one. Only 14% of the couples in SoFi’s survey haven’t yet established an emergency fund.

If you’re not sure if you and your partner have enough funds set aside for a rainy day, an online emergency fund calculator to help you crunch the numbers.

37% Have Discussed Planning for Retirement in Detail

According to one guideline called the 80% rule, couples should aim to replace 80% of their income annually when they retire. Considering that retirement can last 30 years or more, this can add up to a significant sum. One way to get there is to start early—this allows your money to grow through compounding (when your returns earn returns of their own).

Fortunately, many couples recognize the value of getting a jumpstart on retirement planning: Forty percent of newly married couples in our poll have had brief discussions about planning for retirement, and 37% have discussed the issue in detail. The remaining 23% say they haven’t discussed it yet.

2 out of 3 Newlyweds Share the Same Risk Investment Risk Tolerance

Many couples invest money for long-term goals (like retirement or a child’s future college education), whether that’s through a 401(k), an individual retirement account (IRA), or a brokerage account. However, they aren’t always on the same page when it comes to balancing risk versus potential reward with their investments.

How aligned were the couples in our survey? Most (67%) believe their risk tolerance is similar to

their partner’s, while 27% say their appetite for risk is different than their spouse’s. Six percent aren’t sure.

Talking to your partner about investment goals and the strategies to achieve them can help you determine where each of you stand on risk tolerance. From there, you can figure out a way to bridge any differences.

Common Money Challenges Newlyweds Face

When we asked survey respondents to tell us about the largest financial challenge they and their partner are facing, this is what they told us:

• Paying off debt: Credit card debt and loan payments are concerns that came up repeatedly.
• Outstanding student loans: A number of respondents cited student loan debt in particular as a major worry.
• Saving money: There isn’t much left to save after all the bills are paid, survey participants told us. “We just don’t earn enough,” one said, summing up a frustration felt by many.
• Cost of living: High housing costs and the rising cost of living overall are making it hard for couples to get by. We heard similar concerns from our soon-to-be-married couples.
• Affording a car: Trying to make car payments—or earning enough to qualify for a car loan—is challenging, people reported.
• Cost of health care: Medical expenses and paying for health care were problems cited by a number of survey takers. “Rising health care costs are a burden,” a respondent said.

The Takeaway

According to SoFi’s 2024 Love and Money survey, couples who have been married for less than a year typically work as a team to deal with financial issues and work toward their future goals. They tend to talk about money frequently, mostly approve of each other’s spending habits, and many have discussed saving for retirement.

Yet at the same time, they cherish their financial independence. The majority keep at least some of their money separate, have prenuptial or postnuptial agreements with their partners, and section off some of their income to spend as they please.

Couples also face a number of financial challenges, including paying off debt and today’s high cost of living. For many, putting money in the bank for their future goals is a struggle, but also a priority. Choosing the right bank account can be a step in the right direction.

About the Survey

SoFi’s Love and Money Survey was conducted Aug. 16—Sept. 1, 2024, and included 600 U.S. adults aged 18+ who have been married less than one year.

Percentages were rounded to the nearest whole number so some percentages may not add up to 100%.

This story was produced by SoFi and reviewed and distributed by Stacker.